Snowing + 30 Days

It snowed today, all day, it's still snowing now. I can't believe it's already winter, when will it be warm again?! So far the snow hasn't settled and unless it snows all night by tomorrow it will be like it never happened. I don't really know how I feel about the snow this year. Maybe I'm just accepting it, because hating takes to much energy and I have other things to focus on.  

You can't really see the snow but this is the picture I took of it with my phone. 

Also there are only 30 days left till Christmas :)
This songs playing on repeat like it has for the last 2 years.

Bye

Constant Companion

I want to be a very present companion, counselor, and help to you---not merely someone you know of, or someone you met once but rarely think about or talk to, or even an adviser that you consult from time to time when you have a problem or need to make an important decision. I want to be a constant, loving presence.

I want to communicate with you personally and directly, and not in a distant, formal, or mental sort of way, but heart to heart. I want us to commune as intimates would, to talk things over, to reach decisions together, and to sometimes communicate without saying a word. I want to develop a bond of love between us that you've never experienced with anyone else and can't even imagine.

Learning to converse freely with Me, like learning to be natural, open, honest, and trusting in your communications with any friend, is something that comes with time and practice. It may feel awkward or even seem like work at first, learning to come into My presence and recognize My voice, but if you will do your part by making that effort, I will speak to you. I may give you ideas or solutions or answers to your questions, or I may give you a feeling of peace and well-being, or I may simply tell you how special you are to Me and how much I enjoy being with you. I'm full of surprises, so you'll never know what to expect, but this I promise: I will never disappoint you!

--Jesus

Anniversary

So today officially I have had my blog for 4 years! I know I may not have been the most faithful in posting on it regularly but I have posted at least once a month and for 4 years... and well I can say I'm pretty proud of myself.
I still remember back when I started my blog, everyone was super into that 'blogging' phase so I started it also, now only 2 of my friends keep up with their blogs.
It's funny to see where these last 4 years have brought me, and how much I have changed along with how different my life is. 4 years ago I would never have believed that I would end up being a kindergarten teacher. Actually I hated taking care of kids back then.
I really don't have anything to complain about though, I've had a great life. I got to travel a lot, and I love seeing places.
Next year I will be moving out of Hungary. Part of me is really excited, but the rest is nervous, starting anew in a place where I don't know anyone, or the people I know can't help me. But God always works things out and so I just have to trust him and if it's his will for my life then it will work, if not then he will always open another door for me.
I've actually been really happy this week, laughed a lot and I feel inspired about life. I'm surprised that I'm doing so well. I learned that you are made a lot stronger when you get up after life knocks you down. When you have a hardship it's easy to just wallow, to feel terrible about yourself and not want to fight, but when you fight you actually recover a lot faster and then you wonder why you even let yourself stay down for 5 minutes.
I think I've babbled everything out for my 4 year anniversary post.......
Oh ya and I started dance classes last week, my legs still hurt from all the moving, but that's what I love about it :) I feel like I'm finally getting my lazy ass up and doing something.

Breakup

Well I'm still in the 'ripped into pieces' stage, don't know if and when I'll get better. Probably never. Actually I never thought this would happen. I'll be honest with you, I will not sound like a whinny baby anymore. I've cried enough and now I think it's time to suck it up. It doesn't mean it won't hurt or that I won't cry anymore, but it means that I have to grow up. Break ups happen, and it sucks when you're still frikin' in love with the person when they break up with you. But such is life. I wish we could still be friends, and maybe one day I will write you and tell you that, I promised not to write you, but you broke a promise also....it'll just take me a while to get over my pride before I write you. People tell me not to, but I don't have to go by what anyone says. I'm an adult now, I may not want to be or even accept that, but it's not a choice and so as one I have to act like one and make my own decisions. I don't have the guts to ever say this to you, and so you will never know, but you were my life. I depended on you way to much, and now I know where I have gone wrong, but I'm going to the Philippines this Christmas and my ticket is non-refundable... why can't I just stay with you there, we can have closure, we didn't have that and I NEED that. I really do, but then again I don't, I need closure on our relationship, but true friends NEVER ditch on their friends no matter what. I don't that's for sure, people have ditched on me and now it happens yet again, but I don't. Friendship is super valuable to me, and without it I don't even know the meaning of life. I guess I'm one of the few people who still values friendship these days, and I'm lucky I have friends who still do. I thought you did, but I guess this is different. So goodbye, I hope we can still be friends eventually, in the mean time I'll take time to heal.

-Nat