Breakup

Well I'm still in the 'ripped into pieces' stage, don't know if and when I'll get better. Probably never. Actually I never thought this would happen. I'll be honest with you, I will not sound like a whinny baby anymore. I've cried enough and now I think it's time to suck it up. It doesn't mean it won't hurt or that I won't cry anymore, but it means that I have to grow up. Break ups happen, and it sucks when you're still frikin' in love with the person when they break up with you. But such is life. I wish we could still be friends, and maybe one day I will write you and tell you that, I promised not to write you, but you broke a promise also....it'll just take me a while to get over my pride before I write you. People tell me not to, but I don't have to go by what anyone says. I'm an adult now, I may not want to be or even accept that, but it's not a choice and so as one I have to act like one and make my own decisions. I don't have the guts to ever say this to you, and so you will never know, but you were my life. I depended on you way to much, and now I know where I have gone wrong, but I'm going to the Philippines this Christmas and my ticket is non-refundable... why can't I just stay with you there, we can have closure, we didn't have that and I NEED that. I really do, but then again I don't, I need closure on our relationship, but true friends NEVER ditch on their friends no matter what. I don't that's for sure, people have ditched on me and now it happens yet again, but I don't. Friendship is super valuable to me, and without it I don't even know the meaning of life. I guess I'm one of the few people who still values friendship these days, and I'm lucky I have friends who still do. I thought you did, but I guess this is different. So goodbye, I hope we can still be friends eventually, in the mean time I'll take time to heal.

-Nat