Italy part 2

On May 6-8th I went to Italy for the second time. This time to Bologna and Venice. 

It was beautiful and I had an amazing time!

Here are some pictures.

Bologna:

Because Italians like to build crooked towers 

 The most modern souvenir shop I have seen 

 Statue of Neptune

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Venice: 

 I was so happy when I discovered they had yacult!

Venician ambulances

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We also saw a bit of Treviso:

I hope to see more of Italy soon.

Breaking Free

There are people who will try to cut off your wings because they cannot imagine themselves with wings. 

-Laura Livia Grigore

Sometimes I feel the need to escape from reality, to break away from where I am. I guess my reality has always been breaking away eventually, that I start to feel like something is wrong if my life isn't following that pattern. 

A lot of times I do feel like people are trying to 'cut off my wings', sometimes unintentionally, and it's a new idea for me that maybe the only reason they are doing it is just because they cannot imagine themselves feeling what I do. 

I think this quote is beautiful and just what I needed today.

Halfway Back Again

Distance doesn’t separate people… Silence does.

— Jeff Hood

Life Lessons

It's amazing how sometimes things which seem like really important 'big, bad' things effect you less then the minor ones. It doesn't make sense why something so small can get me this down.
It sucks when you think you can trust someone not to purposely hurt your feelings and then they say something which is probably meaner than anything anyone else has ever told you.

***

I know I partially brought it on myself, but wow. ouch!
I think my next resolution for my life is to be more careful when I make decisions, only do things that I am sure I won't regret.
They say, live life without regrets and don't say sorry for doing the things you want to do. But that can't be true because every time I make a selfish decision it's going to come back and hit me in the face. It might take half a year, but it always does. I guess I need to start learning from my mistakes. Time to wake up from my fantasy world where I think I don't have rules now that I am an adult, and realize that being logical is a rule I have to play by or I won't be able to get by.

So here's to the beginning of my path to being a smarter adult!
Cheers!

Enjoy Your Life

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it. 

― William William Feather

RIP

Rest in Peace. I am going to really miss you. You were the best grandfather I could have asked for.

Slovakia/Poland

I recently went to Rimavská Sobota (Slovakia) and Nowy Sącz (Poland) with the group I do volunteer work with. We went to do shows and didn't get to see as much of the countries as I would have liked, but it was still a really awesome experience which I really enjoyed.

Slovakia:

Poland:

I don't have any of the pictures of our show in Poland, but the ones of Slovakia will have to do

Hillsong United

Yesterday I went to a Hillsong concert with some friends.

It was awesome!

Done, done and done!

I have spent the last few days of my life locked up in my room studying politics like a crazy person. I think I actually gained a tiny bit of interest for a subject I found super boring and knew nothing about before. All my studying was worth it though I passed my test, even if it was on the second try, with a grade I didn't think was possible. I knew university would be hard, but I wasn't completely aware of how hard, as even with subjects like linguistics I was able to pass after a good day or two of studying. I guess I'm learning self discipline through this.
On other news, I have officially finished my first semester of university! I feel really proud of myself for making it this far. I hope I'll be able to pass all my subjects easily in the semesters to come, and most importantly find a way to pay for them. But as I have experienced, when something is meant to be it will always work out.
Now I can get back to the other things in my life, but first I need to sleep as I am completely drained.

Enjoy this old picture of me which describes the way I am feeling now.

Goodnight

Life Hurts

It hurts, you know, every small thing. You add it all together and it just makes you feel like you want to fall apart. I wish I was a put together person. I wish that I could control my emotions better, be really strong and not let stupid things phase me. Why do I have to be so stupid? I have this idea in my head of who I'm supposed to be and how I am supposed to live my life and I am falling short by a long shot. I don't want to live a life I don't want. Yes life is full of good times, but are they really worth outliving the bad ones? Life has those moments when you just can't stop smiling because you are so happy, but those moments are so rare that when they come around they really stick into your mind. On the other hand the down moments come so often, people always have to do things they don't want to do, some people wake up every morning not wanting to go to work. I rarely had that problem as I loved my job, but I have that problem now, I don't want to study for a test on a subject I don't care about. I cannot tune in. I sit all day being distracted by every small thing that could possibly cross my mind all the while thinking "I should be studying! I should be studying! I should be studying!" and then when I am asked what I did that day I say "I studied all day". Why couldn't life have been fair and got me into the uni I wanted to go to? Yes I am very thankful I am working towards getting a degree, but is it worth not doing what I love for the next 3 years? I wish I knew. I wish I knew the answer to so many things, including why I am such a mess. I want to be normal! Maybe there is no normal, I don't know, but is wanting to fit in too much to ask?

Ice-skating

Today I had an amazing time ice-skating with a my ex-coworker and her daughter. 

2016 has been awesome so far! I hope it stays this way all year round.

2015 in a Nutshell

A picture of all the good times I had and the people who were a part of my year in 2015.

2015's End

It's December 31st! There are only 23 hours and a half till the year is done! I always get excited when the year is over. I know technically it doesn't change anything more then a normal day of the year, but it's the time when everyone is just happy and enjoys the start of a new year.

I had a really nice Christmas with my family and spent the week with them in Eger. It was nice being home even though I was studying most of the time. We all sat and unwrapped presents twice, as when my cousins came we did it again and I ate so much good food, which I totally love doing! Everything was really nice.

Even though I had some really stressful moments this year I couldn't have wished for anything different. I had some major big things happen to me this year for which I am very happy for:
-I got into university! ---which is by far the best thing I could have asked for this year
-Even though I didn't get to travel half as much as I would have liked to I still got to go to Scotland for 2 days
-I met some really amazing people and made some awesome friends
-I moved to Budapest and now don't have to travel half an hour or more into the city for anything
And:
-Barcelona's football team stayed the champions this year, not to mention Hungary got into the Euro Cup

Plus many more awesome things

In general, even though I may not always show it, I am really happy with where my life has lead me. Yes I miss working in the kindergarten but in 2 and a half years I'll be done with university and can go back to doing what I love.

So yeah...Happy New Years to you all. May you have a wonderful year ahead!

Existence

Of course I'll hurt you, of course you'll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence. 

---Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, from The Little Prince

Writing

I miss those days when I would get on my blog, start writing, and in 5-10 minutes have a nicely written post. Now-a-days I open my blog, start writing something, get stuck, leave it open in a new tab for 3-4 days, and then either eventually write something else much shorter and on a completely different topic then the original idea, or exit the tab and abandon writing on my blog until the inspiration hits and the circle starts again. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I am older and don't want to sound like a dumb little girl writing, and am therefore more self conscious about what comes through and somehow block my thoughts, or the fact that I always feel stressed and can't just 'let go and let it out'. Maybe it is a little of both. I was hoping that this university course I am doing would help me get that 'flow' back in my writing, and maybe it still will, but it is something that I really want to get back. It feels nice to just let my thoughts out on paper. I probably lost the practice and maybe that is why is it harder, but I'll keep on trying and get it back eventually. Until then I will try to keep this blog updated a bit more regularly.