I want to be a very present companion, counselor, and help to you---not merely someone you know of, or someone you met once but rarely think about or talk to, or even an adviser that you consult from time to time when you have a problem or need to make an important decision. I want to be a constant, loving presence.
I want to communicate with you personally and directly, and not in a distant, formal, or mental sort of way, but heart to heart. I want us to commune as intimates would, to talk things over, to reach decisions together, and to sometimes communicate without saying a word. I want to develop a bond of love between us that you've never experienced with anyone else and can't even imagine.
Learning to converse freely with Me, like learning to be natural, open, honest, and trusting in your communications with any friend, is something that comes with time and practice. It may feel awkward or even seem like work at first, learning to come into My presence and recognize My voice, but if you will do your part by making that effort, I will speak to you. I may give you ideas or solutions or answers to your questions, or I may give you a feeling of peace and well-being, or I may simply tell you how special you are to Me and how much I enjoy being with you. I'm full of surprises, so you'll never know what to expect, but this I promise: I will never disappoint you!
--Jesus
So today officially I have had my blog for 4 years! I know I may not have been the most faithful in posting on it regularly but I have posted at least once a month and for 4 years... and well I can say I'm pretty proud of myself.
I still remember back when I started my blog, everyone was super into that 'blogging' phase so I started it also, now only 2 of my friends keep up with their blogs.
It's funny to see where these last 4 years have brought me, and how much I have changed along with how different my life is. 4 years ago I would never have believed that I would end up being a kindergarten teacher. Actually I hated taking care of kids back then.
I really don't have anything to complain about though, I've had a great life. I got to travel a lot, and I love seeing places.
Next year I will be moving out of Hungary. Part of me is really excited, but the rest is nervous, starting anew in a place where I don't know anyone, or the people I know can't help me. But God always works things out and so I just have to trust him and if it's his will for my life then it will work, if not then he will always open another door for me.
I've actually been really happy this week, laughed a lot and I feel inspired about life. I'm surprised that I'm doing so well. I learned that you are made a lot stronger when you get up after life knocks you down. When you have a hardship it's easy to just wallow, to feel terrible about yourself and not want to fight, but when you fight you actually recover a lot faster and then you wonder why you even let yourself stay down for 5 minutes.
I think I've babbled everything out for my 4 year anniversary post.......
Oh ya and I started dance classes last week, my legs still hurt from all the moving, but that's what I love about it :) I feel like I'm finally getting my lazy ass up and doing something.
Bleh, my mind is a muddled mess right now. I've done about everything I could to help me think it through. I even went jogging (which I haven't done in over a year and a half) I think my last resort is sleep but it's not even 9 yet and my body clock doesn't let me sleep till at least 10 unless I'm sick or super over tired. I'm not unhappy just a bit messed up. I'm not to sure what's going on with me. Anywayyy..... my jog was pretty nice, ok I'm not a huge fan of jogging, but it was nice to be out and listen to music and go somewhere you never been before. I discovered there's a playground not to far from where I live. I know that's not really useful information for me, but I should at least know my own neighborhood.
How I Met Your Mother (the best tv series ever) has been coming out for a few weeks now, they come out on Monday and I'm able to get them every Tuesday...so basically Tuesday's are really awesome because I get off work, go to my room and get it. Then have a good 20 minutes of laughing. If you don't watch it you really should, it's already on the 9th (and last) season so if you start now you won't have to wait as long as I do for the parts to come out. It is really worth your time.
I kind of have cramps, I'm waiting for them to go away.
Oh and highlight of my life at the moment......
I'M GOING TO THE PHILIPPINES FOR CHRISTMAS!!!
I am soo excited, I actually thought I'd never go back there. I won't be there for long as I have work to get back to but I will enjoy the time I have to the fullest.
I'll leave you with this verse:
Today we had family day at the kindergarten, I didn't really know if I was looking forward to it as all the other teachers thought it was to cold and to early in the year for family day. I didn't say much but instead decided to wait and see. I had to stay half an hour longer at work because of family day but I didn't mind as long as I could get my shopping done and be home before 5:30. So around 3:00 the parents started arriving, and the sun came out, it was probably warmer then it was all week this afternoon and the kids who's parents showed up seemed to be having loads of fun and the parents also. It was actually really nice, I had a little boy crying on my lap most of the time so I didn't really participate in anything until he discovered the food and the crying stopped so I went about taking pictures of the games. I ended up having to stay 45 minutes later then I expected and was annoyed that I wouldn't have everything done in time.
Recently I've been listening to stuff on how your words affect your life. It was talking about how complaining is an insult to God even if you aren't complaining about him, anything you complain about is his creation. And it got me thinking about a lot of things. The audios went on to say that there's a difference between telling someone your problems and complaining. People can talk about their problems and then try to find a solution But I've realized that most of us now-a-days don't try to look for the solution. We enjoy the idea of people feeling sorry for us so when we talk about our problem we make it a bigger deal then it really is. And when I thought of that I realized that's what I've been doing for a while. I have a really good situation and actually I have my dream job but I still complain a lot. Things go so well for me, yes maybe I don't have the ideal friend situation, but maybe if I spent less time complaining and I got off my ass and did something about it I wouldn't have this problem. I am really going to make an effort to stop complaining and be happy. I can be happy regardless of the situation I am in. There are times I get lonely and that's the hardest part I guess, but I have friends online who I enjoy chatting/skyping with and I'm really lucky to have them. And I should focus on that until something better comes along. Also I can go out there and meet people. I have to get rid of my shyness at some point, it's never gonna leave on its own. My main problem is that I forget, when I start complaining I don't think about how I decided that I would stop, then when I remember later I feel bad. I need to find some way that this can stick into my head until it's a habit. It takes about 6 weeks to form a habit, so let's see how I'm doing in 6 weeks?
I'll get back to this later. For now I'm gonna leave it at this. Bye and goodnight!
Here's a little update on what's been going on. I love my job, the kids are so cute, and at times they drive me insane, but at least it makes my days eventful. I'm getting used to my living situation, it's still hard, but I'm doing ok and that's what I'm focusing on right now. I actually feel like all the worries I had with not being good enough to teach the kids were so useless, as it's really easy. Of course I still have a lot to learn, and have many points I can improve on, but I'm doing better then I thought I would.
I just found out about the band The 1975 recently, I think they are really good. I love these 2 songs from them. They are really amazing. Ok I don't know if anyone else will feel this way about them...but you should listen anyway.
I finished my high school! Well I finished on the Saturday but I didn't get around to posting till now. I am super happy about it, I will never have to sit in front of a desk and study math, science or English unless I want to and that makes me really happy. I will only get my diploma in December as my school is in the Philippines and these stuff take time, so I'm actually not a high school graduate yet, but I'm still done and that's what counts. Oh and I took some pictures the other day, here's one. Bye for now.
I got a Netbook! I'm super happy now I can finally get online properly. My old laptop had a million problems and was so slow I barely even used it anymore. This one arrived yesterday and it's working really well (obviously).
Other than that I smashed my finger on Sunday and it's still swollen and bruised and hurts a ton. It's making it really hard to write and that's a problem cuz I have to finish my school during vacation while I'm not working and this finger thing is slowing me down, but I'll make it.
I haven't really been online much and as a result I haven't blogged for over a month. I've been really busy. I got the job I was really hoping for (I'm super happy about that) and I've been working for a month already. I moved out of Eger and everything in my life has been super different. I'm back here now since I have a 3 weeks break so getting some rest and catching up on my life. I'm pretty happy with the way things are. Of course with new experiences come both good and bad, it's a lot to get used to and I'm doing my best. So anyway I'm a kindergarten teacher now, and really enjoying my job. The kids are so cute, and I'm still getting used to handling all of them at once and keeping patient even when they are being difficult. I'm going to go to Switzerland super soon and I'm really excited, I hope everything works out according to plan and that I have a great time there. Well I'm really tired so I'm gonna go do something cuz I feel this post sounds super dull. Goodnight.
