Sometimes in life stuff happen which freak you out. People close to you can tell something is on your mind but when they ask you, you choose to lie and tell them everything is ok. Sometimes things freak you out, certain possibilities and roads that life might take you down, and you wish you didn't have to go down them, you wish that you could have been more careful before with your decisions and not gotten yourself on that path. But now that you are there there's not turning back. There are times in life when you think something, maybe it isn't true, maybe it is. but that little nagging voice at the back of your head freaks you out. Right now I'm in one of those situations, and I need it not to be true or I have no idea what to do. Yes I'm probably over-reacting, but I'm super scared. super super scared. I need something to get my mind of things, and that one person who I thought I could always rely on, well maybe not...people need distance, everyone needs there space, even me, but I guess I just set my priorities differently. So great be that way....I mean I guess someone always ends up getting hurt, and I can take it, but I'm gonna die when I hurt someone else, especially if they mean a lot to me. Sorry most of this doesn't make sense and is stupid rambling.................I just needed to get it down somewhere. A lot has been happening lately, I haven't been feeling so well. We are having problems at the house, spiritual, and also problems like power cuts...I guess it's just a stage, a test to see how long I can survive, and be positive, I want to be...or more like I have to be. Well anyway the bad things in life will pass...they always do. And maybe this one won't, and it includes to really painful things, but maybe it's all fake worries so I'll just be content and happy for now...or try to be. Everything will be ok.
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